one about my heart-and ministry

John's school year ended yesterday-sigh, and I just took him to the airport; he'll be in California for 12 days. And I'll be home in Texas. . . reading, writing, creating, cleaning, visiting, serving, drinking cold coffee, eating toast and jam (and maybe blue cheese!) When I go away, John doesn't sleep-when he goes away. . .I plan too much (and miss him).

Serving. . . lots of opportunities for me in that arena lately; I'm thankful.

However, the other day I remembered words of a wise man: ministry can be messy. . .and words of the Master,

For whoever wishes to save his life shall loose it, but whoever looses his life for my sake, he is the one who will save it. (Lk 9:24)

So, that day ministry was messy-and unfulfilling and frustrating and exhausting. . . hmmm, seems I'm content and challenged in all things noble as long as loosing my life is going my own way. . .whoever looses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. (And He convicts, He always does. . .)

Home again, I found an unexpected note from a new friend, and a suprise phone call from far away. . . inspite of myself, He always encourages-while John's away, I'll send a few notes, make a few calls. . . loose my life, examine my heart.

a cup and a memory

On a shopping venture with my girls, I spied this lovely cup-perfect in every way. A week later with birthday money in hand, I went back to the store and bought it-a gift to self!

And so Gabrielle was at my house one day. . ."When did you get this one?" she asked.

" I wanted to buy you the matching tea pot, but when I went back to the store, it was gone!"

hmm, I like to think about that little scenario.

The cup handle is missing, yep, broke off. . .still lovely in every way.

apply your heart to discipline. . .

So, the other day I had a long phone conversation with a dear friend; she lives in another state.
We have been young and now we are old. . . between us, we've raised 15 children.
We talked about shifting rolls, about expectations and how change is almost always perceived as loss; we shared common confusion and challenge and the suprising revelation of sin--hmmm, how could it be?
And I reminded my friend that really, God has brought us to an amazing season of life-let's pursue Him with single minded devotion. . . and she agreed.
From my bookshelf I pulled down a worn copy of Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald Whitney-the book our women's Bible study will read for 7 weeks this summer. I cherish my old copy-the inside cover is inscribed. . . we wanted to share this book with you, praying that the Lord will deal especially bountifully with you in 1994-with love. . .

I read the introductory chapter, Spiritual Disciplines. . .for the Purpose of Godliness-I thought about my friend, about our talk.
Curious, isn't it. . .God is commited to my holiness; He will
assuredly work Christlikeness in me, yet I'm not merely to wait for holiness, I'm to pursue it! "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy. . ." Hebrews 12:14 (the verse I've taped to my bathroom mirror)
hmm, this is a good book-the author examines the channels of God's grace: Bible intake, prayer, worship, evangelism, service, stewardship, fasting, silence and solitude, journaling and learning.
Spurgeon wrote, "I must take care above all that I cultivate communion with Christ, for though that can never be the basis of my peace-mark that-yet it will be the channel of it."

So, I wrote to my friend. . .I told her about my plan to deliberately, consistently put myself in the path of Jesus through the spiritual disciplines, that He will change me from the inside out. And I told her about my Bible intake that day, because sometimes just being accountable to another believer is spiritual exercise, don't you agree?

what we do together (I held the screwdriver)

Growing up, I never remember our cars breaking down. . . I'm sure they did, but my father always sent our vehicles off to the shop for maintanance and repair.
Then I got married; during that first year of marriage my husband replaced the engine in our orange Fiat-and so goes our life for 39 years . . .
Sometimes there's a little drama, some stress, frustration-you know, car repairs can be unperdictable (all creation groans, right? even the mechanical part.)

So, we're getting ready for a big summer road trip; the VW's timing belt needed replacing.
John asked me, "This time would you like me to send the car to a shop?"
hmmm, no. . .(I thought of the money we could pour into our diesel tank rather than into the pocket of a mechanic.)
So, Monday was the day-my husband was energized.
Francis, our good friend, was right by his side the whole way, well almost- a 5 hour job turned into 12 hours. . .
I'm married to a hopeful man.
He came inside, ate 2 chocolate cookies, "I'm taking a break to pray," he said. (me too)
Then he narrated the situation-I listened. . .back on the job, he called me out to the garage, to hold the screwdriver.
That night Francis called, "How's it progressing?"
Great! Darcie held the screwdriver. . . (but really, listening helps every time)

176 verses

Patricia invited me for an evening at her place last week.
And she invited Laura-we met for the first time.
There were treats-fruit, dates, hot herbal tea. . .and good conversation right from the start.
Every person's life story is unique, intriguing, don't you think? I love to listen. . .how does Gospel truth intersect here? I ask myself, because it does, always, I'm certain. . .
I've discovered that much of my life struggle has to do with the focus of my longing. . .
mmm, what if we read Psalm 119, aloud, right now? I suggested that night.
So, we collected 3 Bibles and started at the beginning. We read all 176 verses, taking turns, making observations along the way; we read for an hour. . . imagine that?

My soul languishes for your salvation. . . my eyes fail with longing for your Word. . . revive me according to Your lovingkindness, I will never forget your precepts. . .I anticipate the nightwatches that I may meditate on Your Word. . .O how I love Your law! . . .revive me, O Lord, according to your word, revive me. . .revive me. . .

Then we drank water. . .and I ate more dates.

A good evening, indeed.

what I do for a living

Another cup, another story. . .
one summer I visited my sweet sister in California; we enjoyed coffee at Pete's (mmm, good coffee)- then I purchased this cup. I take it down from my cupboard and think, this one doesn't fit me- colors too bright, cup too big, handle sticks out. . . But really, I love it- blueberries on bold yellow, shiney glaze and memories with my sister. (and the lip is chipped. . .)


Last week I met Jennifer and Amy for coffee. . . each is on the brink of unexpected life changes; for a long time I've met them 1 on 1, but recently we've been a threesome.
And it's been good-just taking in their talk, their mutual exhortation, and I interject a little. . .
How can we pray for you? they ask.
So, I told them about my appointment with a new doctor, about my dislike for those forms that ask personal information . . .
What do you do? where do you work? your employer?
I use to say, "I stay home with my kids." But the kids aren't home anymore. . .maybe she thinks I play bingo, that I'm spending my children's inheritance (silly)
Heart, it doesn't matter what she thinks -remember, the fear of man brings a snare.

And that day in the new doctor's office, it wasn't so bad, really.
"So, I see here that you mentor women. . .you're a counselor then. Is that what you do for a living?"
do for a living?. . .a counselor?
No, not really-I'm a wife, a mother, my children are grown up, I meet women over coffee. . .what I do for a living? Well, I'm a Christ follower. . .
thanks for asking.

squash like candy

Our friend, Ralph, recently moved into the room above our garage. I'm not totally sure how this living arrangement will work out, but one thing is clear-Ralph needs us.
So, in Ralph's evaluation, I'm an A+ cook, "Sister Darcie, even when you're not home I can smell the cooking from your kitchen . . . and I think, she's that kind of cook, even when she's not cookin it smells like cookin!"
Last week a friend gave me a pile of collard greens- I cooked and served them up. "How are the collards, Ralph?"
He tells me, "mmm, just like my sister made!"

Tatume squash, that's what I have growing in my front yard. I planted it because the picture on the seed package looks like the squash that grows in the corn fields in Mexico. Indeed, the vine ingulfs everything; I carefully lift the vine while John mows.
Yesterday I sliced and sauteed Tatume squash; after dinner I overheard Ralph on the phone,
"How does sister Darcie make squash so good?. . .her squash tastes like candy."

garlic. . . the secret is garlic.