gospel affection

I just finished reading Gospel-Powered Parenting (How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting)
 I know- you're thinking, "Why another parenting book? and why you?"
William Farley writes how the gospel intersects with life (what could be better?), and specifically with parenting-  it's good, really good. I'm taking a few notes before returning the book to a friend, and this morning I'm thinking about gospel love. . .
Farley writes that the gospel helps us see the connection between love and sacrifice; parental love should be sacrificial like God's love demonstrated at the cross, and gospel centered love terminates in affection.
"God dealt with our sin issue at the cross to open the flood gates of his affection towards us."
Sometimes affection for our children is hard, slow in coming. . . we can be affectionate with a disagreeable child because we remember that God payed a great price to be affectionate with us. . .his disagreeable children.

Farley suggests four ways that parents can show their children affection:

• focused attention (exclusive time) 
•  eye contact (look, listen) 
•  physical touch 
•  identifying signs of grace in our children (are we more aware of their failings or of God's grace?)

I love what Farley writes about fathers and affection, "The more affectionate a father, the more likely that his children will internalize his values."

One delightful aspect of being a grandmother is watching my sons tenderly love their children- I pray and in my heart I remind them,  Boys-gospel centered love for your children terminates in fervent affection.