up in the air so blue. . .

My mom was the quintessential kindergarden teacher; over many years she often recited
 "The Swing" to us, her children.

"How do you like to go up in a swing,

   Up in the air so blue?

Oh, I do think it is the pleasantest thing

  Ever a child can do?"

I still love to swing-there's something about sailing up in the air so blue that clears
 a crowded mind; lately I've been pushing little boys up. . .

 Friday I pushed, pushed Aaron and Jonas in their back yard swing-
"Miss Darcie, can you give me and under doggie?" squeaked the little one.
"No, sweet boy, I'm too old, too weak!"

 Tuesday I pushed Eoin in the swing at the park.
"Eoin, before I push- just park your sword over there," I instructed.

Then Wednesday I pushed Landis- by now he knows  not to ask. . .
"You can't do an under doggie, right Gran?"

So- I push and tell them, "Boys, Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, so that you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man. . .remember Jesus is the only way to life and truth!"

This week  I'm scheduled for a bone density scan- and I expect the doctor will say,
"Ma'am, your arm bones look good and dense."
And I'll say, "Oh, it's the little boys. . .I've been pushing them up in the air so blue!"

See what kind of love. . .

When my grandchildren visit they sit on the brown bench and play at the kitchen windowsill.
I wash dishes and watch their play; then they go home and I'm slow to pick up the remnants, enjoying the memory, thinking about next time. . . remembering how my little sons and daughters played at that exact spot at the kitchen windowsill.

Sometimes a dear person comes into my life for what seems like the blink of an eye. I met Cory in March and this week she moved away. I'm feeling a bit wistful about it, "Ahh, friend, why so soon? I will miss you!"

We've been squeezing in Friday morning coffees at Central Market, sipping and sharing. . . two small women, nestled in square, man size chairs under an outdoor awning.
So- eager to pack in personal stories in the space of a breath,  we trip over our words. . . and the other day we admitted a common heart struggle- you see, we're each vulnerable to hurt when others don't love us well, or when it appears they don't . . . do you know that struggle?

I told my friend that when the internal battle rumbles, desperate for love, I say inside, "Soul, love God more. . .reach out and love others fervently, intentionally!" True, very true. . .but first I have to bathe my heart here:

See what kind of love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.
(1 John 3:1)

Think of it- God chose me for his family and lavished his grace upon me because he loved me even when I was most unloveable. God says to me,

I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving kindness. (Jeremiah 31:3)

So, I tell Cory, "Dear friend, I'm a lot older than you are and I'm a slow learner . . . yet I yearn to understand that God's love for me, his child, is deep and abiding and forever, a love that changes me.

in strength and in weakness

 Saturday morning I awoke revived, "A bicycle ride sounds nice!" I told my husband.
So, he jumped on the idea, always delighted when I suggest a ride. I expected we'd ride calmly along the river, but I've noticed about my husband. . .when I'm up for a bicycle ride, he's eager to show me all the places I miss when he bikes without me.
Really, we should have stopped at the Cinco de Mayo parade at Mission Espada, stayed right there, enjoying the scene, considering it just enough for half way, but we biked on; he pointed out favorite things that I would never notice on my own. He was sweet, delighted to have me along for the ride. . .I grew fatigued, discouraged- why so slow, feeling so old.
"Should I go back for the car and pick you up?" he suggested.
No, I can make it, but slowly, please no hills!" I said
Retirement is coming. . . can I keep up with this man? 

And in the afternoon we drove to the store and bought a new computer- imagine that? Thinking about retirement, thinking about what might be ahead for us, we made an investment. . .
Hmm, I love this new machine and I'm typing really fast.
My husband types slowly--in fact sometime I type for him.
We're fast and slow, strong and weak in different ways. 

Love is patient. . .love bears with the weaknesses, love rejoices in the strengths of others--and that's good because I keep learning to trust God more and more.

(and sometimes we just laugh together about our differences and about growing old together.)

to keep a quiet heart. . .

Every spring I'm compelled to document a bit of Texas beauty--especially for friends and family who live elsewhere (and to remind myself in the scorch of Texas summer. . .)

 

While studying gratitude I pulled some books off my personal favorites shelf, but one I borrowed from a friend- Keep A Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliott; the author shares thoughtful truths about gratitude but she writes so much more. . .

Elisabeth Elliot use to write a newsletter and for years I received it bimonthly in my mailbox, a paper newsletter when paper was still the norm; in her words, "the letter was meant to cheer and encourage--once in a while perhaps to nettle or amuse--those who want it." (and I wanted it, needed it . . .)

Keep A Quiet Heart is a compilation of lead articles culled from the newsletter; the chapters are 

short, the subject matter broad- but always, as customary with Elisabeth, she encourages, "Do what the Bible says. . . trust and obey!" 

So, I'm reading and gleaning and savoring and one sleepless night last week I did an internet search- Elisabeth Elliot. I learned of Elisabeth's decline with dementia beginning a decade ago. I read beautiful, compelling articles and posts testifying that when Elisabeth recognized her fading memory, she put into practice "what she had long preached".  She aptly applied a quote form Amy Carmichael to herself, "in acceptance comes peace."

She turned to Isaiah 42:3 for comfort and now at 86, unable to speak, this beautiful woman is still keeping a quiet heart.

And for me personally- somehow, knowing about her life today gives credence to her words, and I'm 

encouraged to keep a quiet heart today. . .and come what may.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, 

and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God. . .

Isaiah 43

gratitude is good for me

Here's what's been going on at my house this week . . . and now they're off, home to Mexico City.

Can I tell you that my grandchildren have changed in 9 months? Josu reads smoothly in English, Selma has the sweetest sprinkling of freckles across her cheeks, and Malachai- soon he'll turn 11!

The visit seemed short- but everything about life seems short these days.

 I remember that  gratitude is good for me. . .

Like so much of life, what I do with gratitude depends on who or what I worship. . .

"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart, I will recount all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exalt in you. I will sing praise to your name, O most High." (Psalm 9:1-2)

I love how the Psalmist gives clear context to gratitude - God himself is the object of authentic gratitude, He is the Giver!  Christians worship the Giver who gives meaning to human existence.

"God who made the world and everything in it. . .He gives to all mankind life and breath and everything." (Acts 17:25)

He gives life- He gives breath- He gives everything-  He gives to all mankind.

I've been reminding myself, "Heart, God is a good Giver, He is the giver of every good gift!" (James 1:17)

"Be careful how you walk. . .always giving thanks for all things in the name of the Lord Jesus."(Eph 5)

What God tells me to do always is his moral will for me, and since God's will for his children is always best, gratitude is good for me- like a cheerful heart is good medicine!

 Have you ever noticed how gratitude gives hope, drawing us close to the throne of God; one writer says it like this, "Gratitude puts us in God's living room!"
 I like to hold the picture in my mind- even when I squirm in my circumstances, that's exactly where I need to be. . .in God's living room.

gratitude and worship

      

Christians agree, at least philosophically, that we ought to be grateful people- but then we struggle to mind the gap between theology and practical living. . .  I see the gap in me.

So, I dug deep and ruminated long over the root of two worldviews: What the world tells women and what God tells women about gratitude. 

Because the sin of man affects a culture, the world tells us that it's totally acceptable to gripe and complain when things don't go our way. The world tells women to be grateful when it's convenient, when life looks good, but on the whole, griping thanklessness, sporadic gratitude define the world's way. (just watch and listen in line at the grocery store, in the airport, inside you and me. . .)

But then, all humanity yearns for relief from the misery of sin; by and by the world has discovered 

that gratitude is good. At  "greater good-the science of a meaningful life" experts tell us that people who actively become more grateful in their every day lives are happier, healthier, sleep better; the world's expert on gratitude will teach you how to keep a gratitude journal that will create meaning in your life. A recent article asks, "Can gratitude help you thrive?"

hmmm. . .the world embraces a torn edge of truth- gratitude does produce a sense of well being, gratitude lifts our spirits because that's how God created us! The world mixes up good and bad, expounds the benefits of gratitude, tells us to feel good about being grateful.

Like so much of life, what I do with gratitude depends on who or what I worship.

(of course, there's more. . .)

Words. . .sweet, healing

My sweet friend gave birth to her baby boy . . .and a few days ago she moved with her husband and children- to a new home far away. I jotted down some thoughts on mothering in a tiny journal book with a scrolled lavender cover and left it on the table with a note.
Friend, I will miss you. . .miss watching how the Savior continues to grow and change you into his likeness- and here's a little bit of me. . .

What is desired in a woman is her kindness (Prov 19)

My children grew up- and I wish I had been a kinder woman; in Titus 2:3-5 older women are instructed to teach younger women to be kind! We almost miss it. . .to be kind, a little word wedged in between workers at home and subject to their own husband. Just be kind. You'd think we wouldn't have to work on this one, after all, we're mothers!

 The woman in Proverbs 31 opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue-
Friend, show kindness with your words. Scripture teaches that kind words are sweet to the soul and healing to the bones- words go deep. . .

Sometimes a mother is tempted to harshness or impatience when her children are weak, not mean or rebellious, just weak. . .maybe her children are sick or slow or forgetful.
Ahhh, slow, slow, slow squeezes our hearts. But then a woman can choose kindness, "I am so sorry this is hard for you, let me help you."

Friend, my children are grown up, but I'm still learning and practicing-
Kind words are sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24)