Our dwelling place

John and I spent last week with sweet children from our church community. Mom and Dad flew out of town and we sort of took their place. It felt a bit like vacation- you know, cooking in a new kitchen, loving on toddlers, mornings at the park, zoo day, no reminders that my clogged closets call my name . . .

So, we live in this old house with memories that sometime suffocate me- and we're still trying to figure out our house and retirement. Should we fix the leaks and cracks in this old house?  Should we move on to a smaller, newer space? Should we give it all away and launch a radical retirement in a tear drop trailer?
Hmmm, maybe - maybe not- but for now we keep chipping away on our old house.
We planted a little tree in the yard and John's busy with a creative deck project. For months my favorite cut out lay hidden on a dusty shelf and finally I framed it- a new picture to hang on my old wall.

Yesterday morning I found myself driving in the neighborhood of a new coffee shop. Do I dare stop and have a coffee alone? Yes, do it! So I chose a spot on an umbrella shaded patio and splurged on a croissant and coffee in a white cup. I sat in this lovely space reading, musing, when an elderly man from a neighboring table approached.

"Are you reading the Bible? you need to read this verse." Fumbling with a pencil, he appeared  confused.

I offered up my Bible; he leaned over the table, smoothing the rumbled pages. "Right here, Psalm 90!"

And the kind stranger read to me,  "Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were born you gave birth to the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting you are God."

Then he handed back my Bible, smiled and walked away. Sometimes life on this earth is so strange, so good- and God's Word is incredibly timely. . .

He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane. 

I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind

Mercy, oh how He loves. . .

a kind of mothering

A sweet woman from my church community slipped me a dozen home grown eggs on Mother's Day.
All week John has been eating eggs- and I have been savoring a look. . . tiny, extra large, blue, brown,
speckled white eggs.

Five years ago John and I visited Abigail and Nathaniel in London and there we celebrated Mothering Sunday. Bunches of spring daffodils awaited all the women that day.  I love the term Mothering Sunday- because in
every culture women nurture and mother others in all sorts of relationships and contexts.

Early Thursday morning Isa sent me a text, "Can we switch our 10 A.M. date to a coffee shop on Broadway?"

"Perfect! I'm on my way to an impromptu 8 A.M. date at a different shop on Broadway!"

Ahh, I'm a rich woman- 2 coffee dates on a single morning at 2 shops where the coffee is good.

So, I pushed open the heavy door to #2 shop on Broadway and spotted sweet Isa bent over her laptop. We hugged and I  scooted my chair close while rummaging deep in my bag for $2 for a coffee.
#2 coffee shop on Broadway felt familiar yet changed- I surveyed the shiny tables, the leather chairs, the urban mural. . . Ahh, indeed! a dozen years ago I met Mary week after week in this place- mothering of sorts happened here.

Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have rolled over me. . . (Psalm 42:7-8)

Sometimes life's rolling waves crash in on one's soul- the roar seems deafening. . . By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.

 Week after week over coffee and God's Word we exposed our hearts- and mothering of sorts happened here.

 Friend! Guess where I went for coffee today? Remember? Thanks for letting me know you, really know you- 

surely goodness and mercy. . .

Last month some of our children and grandchildren dropped in for visits from far off places.
Ahh- how I long for things to be perfect when they come- you know, perfect food, perfect sleeping arrangements, perfect weather, perfect conversation- and of course it's never perfect.
But south Texas is lovely in the spring and I'm simply grateful that from time to time they find their way back.

One evening over coffee and ice cream we played the compatibility game and the get to know you better game- someone tossed this one into the ring:

 "If you were stranded on a desert island and could have 

just 3 books of the Bible,which 3 would you choose?"

So. . . what do you think? and what do I think?! Everybody wrestled, everybody answered, and everybody selected the Psalms. I overheard a murmur, What would I do without the Psalms?

I've been walking this winding path with Jesus for at least 40 years, but a decade ago I began to drink deeply and cherish the Psalms- daily God feeds my soul through this rich book. I could write a weekly blog post reflecting on the Psalms- perhaps I will. . . .

Psalm 23 is on my mind today, one that's engraved in most of us since childhood- the rhythm is familiar and I almost miss the treasure-

. . . Surely goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of your life and you shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Surely (inevitably, without fail) God's goodness and mercy shall follow you. . . forever, all the way to the end, dear friend- and so I pray for you today.

the best covering

I love how God created the world with smooth things-  like vanilla ice-cream, bar soap, new baby skin. . . and He created textured things- like succulents in a pot, wholewheat toast and steel cut oats, nubby wool and knitted cables- all so lovely!

And life in God's world is smooth and textured too - you know, the hills and valleys, curves, crags,  straights. I remind myself that He owns and fashions it all for his glory and my good.
So- last week my days and nights bumped and dipped with unexpected encounters, long phone calls, lots of reminders that I live in a broken world. . .
I was laughing and weeping, resting and groaning all week. I read Proverbs 2- Ahh, I need more wisdom, Lord!

And even as I beseeched the God of wisdom for more of Himself, I received a text from a young friend; for a few years I discipled her through a rough patch of life- and then my friend and her family moved far away-

I think of you often, Darcie! I am missing you and our conversations!

I miss your sweet home and John too. I would love to cover you in prayer.

As I continue to pray for my life and how I can best honor God, so many things

have happened to help me soften my heart and love others. I see God's work 

more and more and am so thankful. How can I pray for you specifically this week?


Pray for me, friend, that I would grow in WISDOM. . . I love you!

"The Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He stores up sound wisdom for the upright. . .And He preserves the way of His godly ones." Proverbs 2

some sweet reflection

Dear Mercy,

Today I'm standing in the middle of your bright green room- we're planning to paint it this month. Papi bought grey paint, just ordinary grey. Truth be told- it's hard to cover up the old paint, the vibrant green that reminds me of you, of the way you live each day. I love that about you, Mercy.

So, I'm taking down your eclectic wall decor: Audrey Hepburn next to Tintin, fashion beside a cardboard basketball jersey, pictures of kids, lots of smiling kids, and worn dusty books- Anne of Green Gables, Betsy,Tacy, and Tib (and all the sequels). Next the closets (Aye!). . .the spaces crammed with memories of people, events, photos, thrift store finds, creative pursuits: fabric, paper, paint, sequins (did I mention the shoes?) I resist the temptation to dig in, to sort, to toss- and instead I just close the closet doors. And I think about all that overflowing mixture of life and beauty that reminds me of you.

Mercy, I love that you're relational and so persistent in pursuing people- and I've watched you pursue me.
I've noticed how you're not satisfied with "cream on the top" kind of conversations with me; if I don't go deeper then you take me there. . . so curious, since I'm the one known around here for going deep! I'm thinking about our conversation over coffee awhile back when I was struggling with an issue. You made some observations that surprised me, that brought me to a new place-- and I remember your thoughtful exhortation. That day was good, Mercy- Thank you. . .

with affection always,

Mom

to detect the burdens of others

I've never been fingerprinted. . . that is until now. I guess a woman doesn't need a background check to mother the children she gives birth to.. .
So,  the other day I helped my friend with 3 foster children, a set of tiny twins and their 15 month old sibling.
I rocked babies, held bottles, changed diapers, wiped spills and spit up, hugged and listened to my friend's big boys. And for a spare 30 minutes I sat with my friend, feet propped up, sipping coffee, a bit of a chat--this too is mentoring.

I was doing some on-line reading the other day and came across an article about the ministry of burden bearing.
I extracted this quote for my journal:

Here is a vocation that will bring you more satisfaction then if you become a millionaire 10 times over: Develop the extraordinary skill for detecting the burdens of others and devote yourself daily to making them lighter. (John Piper)

 John and I are defining a new season of life- a season of new vocations.
Lord, help me to see the beauty of  simply bearing burdens!
I do- but I don't. . .  my vision is short sighted.
I see the obvious, plain-as-day kind of opportunities (like my sweet friend and her foster children).
I want to start today- to work at developing this extraordinary skill for detecting the burdens of others and devote myself daily to making them lighter.

"Christians must have strong shoulders and mighty bones-

sturdy enough, that is, to carry heavy burdens"

Martin Luther

cabled mittens. . . and my heart

Packing my suitcase for Ohio, I tucked in a skein of lovely grey wool along with the pattern for a pair of cabled mittens, size small- for me! So- I knit on and off, just enough to finish one mitten and begin the second before coming home. A few days ago I completed the second -although wool mittens aren't especially useful in the Texas spring time. Truth be told- I'm obsessed with completing pairs! I love the twisting pattern of cables knit into almost anything. Sometimes I knit the cable row all wrong; I have to rip out, back up, unravel, sort out stitches, but if I calculate and execute correctly, then it comes out just fine- smooth, cabled beauty!

I've been thinking about relationships that get tangled up, like tangled cables. . .  hmm, I wish the untangling could be as uncomplicated and predictable as fixing cables in my knitting.  God pushes himself and his truth into my tangled relationships. . .

( Colossians 3: 12-13) As those chosen of God, holy and beloved,  put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, love. . .all those qualities that are vital and useful in the context of relationships. God sees how I dress my heart and so do you!

Bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint, forgive one another as God in Christ Jesus has forgiven you. (do you all ever have complaints?)

If I have a complaint, a persistent complaint resulting in disunity, I need to remember the question/answer from James 4:1

Q. "What is is it that causes quarrels and conflicts among you?"

A.  "Is it not the desires that wage war in your members."

So- lately I've been examining my heart for those stray selfish desires that sometimes hide deep; then if the conflict persists, I'm asking:

Have I been compassionate enough? Have I been gentle enough?  Have I been humble enough?

Have I loved fervently enough? Did I forbear long enough? And in the midst of the battle, did I loose hope? Did I give up?

It's not a formula- this pursuit of peace, of untangling relationships. But I worship the God of Peace, revealed in the Gospel of Peace- so I keep at it day after day til there's no more days

. . .to worship the Prince of Peace.