to love a friend

Last month my friend lost her husband. . . his death was expected- but not in that way, and not then. 
I'm thinking. . . even with the sure hope of heaven, are we ever prepared for the separation, the finality, the gaping, ugly hole? "Death reminds me how horrible sin is." confided my friend.

"She's a strong woman. . .she'll be fine." said a mutual friend.
The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe.
I know. . .but today my friend is weak; today life's edges are twisted, frayed, confused, daily tasks complicated, unfinished.

I pencil my friend's name beside verses in my bible and pray for her.
Answer me quickly, Lord; my spirit fails, let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love. . .make me to know the way I should go. . .

 I call, wait for her to reach out for me, to come close -
Two are better than one. . .for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. 

I struggle with how to do this well, fumbling to discern how to love my friend in her grief. It's like I'm waiting for her to tell me how to do it- (and I hate that  I haven't figured it out already.)

Finally I say, "I don't know how to help, but I'm coming over."
So- we work and talk and remember- it's good and I'll come again.
Dear friend, I'll stay close. . .even when I'm not sure just how to do it.
I'm thinking how much I have to learn . . .
Make me know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.