some sweet and some bitter

Mercy came home for a little visit last weekend- I think she'd say that New York is home now, but I say there's still lots of her stuff  in the closets in Texas. 

So, my girl and her dear friend Katie spent the night at our warm Texas house, in her garden green room where the adventures of Betsy, Tacy, and Tib still line the shelves. They hung around Saturday morning and it was sweet. I'm grateful for those times over coffee- we even made a second pot.

For months I studied and asked myself the question, What is God centered gratitude? I talked about gratitude to lots of women and even blogged about it--gratitude is good for the soul.

But I'm also very aware how readily ingratitude presses in, sometimes initially unnoticed; a wise woman said, "Ingratitude to God is sin which creeps around the edges our hearts".

I remember during our family's growing up years, John would remind us, "When the people complained it displeased God and his wrath  burned against them." (Numbers 11:1)

Yikes! ingratitude bears bitter fruit. I'm very aware of the temptation to categorize ingratitude as a "lesser sin". Hmmm, ingratitude, not quite so bad as. . . but in Romans 1 God describes the downward spiral of humanity into sin, "Although they knew God they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him." 

So, I ask myself, "If I know grumbling is bitter, that ingratitude displeases and dishonors God, then why do I struggle so?"

Well, I'm prideful and pride manifests itself in thoughtlessness towards God.  Jesus healed 10 lepers (Luke 16) but only 1 leper came back to thank him. I don't think the other 9 were grumbling about their circumstances; they weren't hard hearted or rebellious. Those 9 healed lepers just didn't pay attention; they were thoughtless towards God- they were simply silent.

To be silent about God's mercies is to incur the guilt of ingratitude. (Elisabeth Elliot)

And I forget. . . I forget God, forget gospel reality, forget his mercies. And I know I'm not alone-

"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. . .but they forgot God who had done great things in Egypt." (Psalm 106)
I read in Mark 8 how Jesus fed the 4,000 hungry people and then the pharisees demanded of him a sign. Jesus warned the disciples about spiritual leaven but they were preoccupied with their lack of physical bread. Jesus rebuked his disciples,
"Why are you discussing the fact that you have not bread? . . . are your hearts hardened? Don't you remember when I broke 5 loaves for 5,000, when I broke 7 loaves and fed 4,000?"
No, they forgot that Jesus is the very Bread of Life. . .and so do I.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of his benefits. . ." (Psalm 103)

Also I think I'm entitled to more. . . entitlement springs from a wrong view of God-I view him as a stingy Giver; like Eve, I focus on what God chooses to withhold from me. When we think we deserve more, we minimize God's blessings - have you noticed?
I read this interesting observation, "The higher the cost of living, the more ungrateful (discontented) we become." While I don't find it described exactly that way in Scripture, I see the truth in my own heart. For instance- in Mexico my neighbors didn't have a bathroom, and then I was grateful for the toilet I could flush with a bucket (and many more basic comforts). Then I moved to America- in my heart I complain that my washer is in the garage and think: Life would be good if. . . .
(Ahh, true confessions!)

What do you feel entitled to that robs you of a grateful heart?

So, there it is, a bit of the bitter, but God is infinitely gracious and forgiving.
Let's be ruthless with ourselves, identifying and rejecting any seed of ingratitude before it invades the edges of our hearts; we need each other-
"Encourage one another while it is still today lest your hearts grow hard by the deceitfulness of sin." (Heb 3:13)