Layering

I love the delicate design on this little cup--a birthday gift from my friend.
So-the other day I glanced at the wrinkles and sags reflected in the mirror and thought, Ahh, change!
Then again,  my life is layered with texture-and I like the layers.

I finish a baby sweater so that I can start knitting a tiny hat. . .
and I finish the last stitches on one little quilt so that I can begin to piece a new one.
I reread the mountain of holiday correspondence on my desk so that I can respond, one by one.
I'm re-learning to throw and catch a football  and I'm learning to maneuver my ipad.

And there are books to finish and good things to record in a worn journal-and new books waiting,
books layered on the coffee table:

This Momentary Marriage ( Piper)
                Life Together (Bonhoeffer)
                         In the Land of Blue Burkas . . .I peek into the pages, a new journal on hand-

 There are pencil checks, layered beside the Psalms in my old Bible-I turn to the beginning. . .
And there are dear relationships. . . new ones and enduring ones layer to the front of my days.
And it's good. . .because-
I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a god work in me will perfect it 
until the day of Christ Jesus.

pause. . .

                                                     

Sometimes I launch into the new year, other times I limp. . .
I'm reading David's prayers of confession; for weeks I soak up Psalm 51, 32- it's good, so good.
 Many years ago I learned to sing Psalm 32.

When I kept silent about my sin my body wasted away. . .my vitality was drained away like the fever heat of summer.

Selah. . .Soul! do not hurry over this-when David's conscience was unclean before God, he suffered. . .and so do I.

I confessed my transgression to the Lord and he forgave the guilt of my sin.

Selah. . .so, I pause right there-breath in the psalmist's humble resolve, God's amazing response. . .

Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you. . .surely a flood of great waters will not reach him, You are my hiding place, You preserve me from trouble.

Selah. . . the psalmist encourages me, "when you struggle with sin, you too cry out to God, confess sin, He will surround you with loving kindness, with deliverance."

So-sometimes it's hard to pause. . .when I pause over truth, then I slow down, I stop talking.
And that's a very good discipline for me in the new year.

reflections-2013

During my December visit to New York, I spent two nights with my friend, Lucinda.

our girls, Kate and Abigail, smiled. . .You're having a sleep over! (indeed.)

I slept in the sink room and Lucinda brought up toast and tea on a tray the first morning.

Then I bounded out of bed and washed my face in the little sink.

Breakfast in bed can't compare with breakfast table conversation with a dear friend.

So, the second evening we sat by the fire with tea, old books, knitting projects-

We talked about our many children and grandchildren, about changes on the horizon 

for our husbands. . .changes for Lucinda and me-the unknown.

 I told my friend that in 2013 I want to trust God with his mysteries . . .

to rest in the Lord, not always trying to figure out "the why".

O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty;

Nor do I involve myself in great matters,

Or in things too difficult for me.

Surely I have composed and quieted my soul;

like a weaned child rests against his mother,

My soul is like a weaned child within me. . . (Ps 131)

. . . a worthy pursuit for 2013, a desire shared with a friend-and with you!

after Christmas gift. . .

Sometimes an unwrapped gift is the very best kind--not always, but sometimes it is .

So, we made one of those gifts happen with our grandchildren, for Christmas but after Christmas-

We kidnapped them, blind folded-and with bicycles.

We planned a treasure hunt of sorts with a map (John's part) and nobody tired out or complained. . .of course we passed out sweets along the way (my part)-like toffee covered almonds for bird's nest sightings, yellow and red jelly beans for corresponding berries, gummy tree frogs for tree identifications. . .

Eager kids and happy grandparents, what could be better?

And I do wonder who had the most fun that day?

remember your creator. . .

So,  we hung out with Luke and Gabrielle and the grandchildren on New Year's Eve-

we ate chicken caldo, spicy and  good, with avacado chunks, lime slices, and fresh cheese-crumbly and salty like I remember in Mexico. 

We dropped in on the neighborhood New Year's party.  

I had a long conversation with a neighbor- a talk that still rumbles around inside me.

And John met a neighbor, a man who graduated from high school the same year he did and who went to boot camp in San Diego the same year-

My husband asked the neighbor, "What kind of New Year's celebration do you think goes on in heaven?  like this. . .? or maybe like this. . . ?"

 "I don't know, I don't like to talk about that!" concluded the neighbor.

Then we drove home to our own neighborhood--fire works like crazy, smoky streets and gun shots.

You know you're old when you fall asleep before midnight in a war zone (or party zone).

I've been thinking about King Solomon's description of human aging in Ecclesiastes.
 
 Remember  your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say,  "I have no pleasure in them"; before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars are darkened and the clouds return after the rain. . .in the days when the strong men are bent and the grinders cease. . .

Aye. . .grim, grim!


Last month John accompanied our friend Marguerite on her first train ride-she's 97!
for Marguerite, the sun and light are darkened- I love how she still takes pleasure in her days.
 "I love to hear the train whistle and this time it's coming to take me!" she exclaimed.
Soul! Remember your Creator in the days of your youth (and in your season of old age)-in 2013.