night watches

My eyes anticipate the night watches, that I may meditate on your promise.
Ps 119:148

I don't especially long for night watches - but lately sleep struggles dominate the 24 hour cycle of my life.  I can grind my teeth- or like the psalmist, I can embrace wakeful nights.

Last week a fan whirred in the window pulling in cool air at 2 A.M. I sat at my desk, pale light spread over book and paper, and I listened to John's breathing in the adjoining room.
And the night breathed, warm yet pleasant, "Lord, this is good," I sighed.

And in my red covered journal I recorded meditations and prayer to keep remembering in the dark of night and beyond.

There is one who scatters but increases all the more and there is one who withholds what is justly due but it results only in want. (Prov 11:24)

Lord, when the day dawns, today, tomorrow, the next, help me to generously scatter- Lord, show me when and how I withhold what is justly due. . . . my resources, yes, but make me willing  to give myself, to carry heavy burdens - cheerfully.

O give thanks to the Lord, call upon his name, Sing to Him. . . .speak of his wonders, Glory in his holy name. Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad. Seek the Lord and his strength, seek His face continually. . . 
(Ps 105)

Lord, for my loved ones- Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad with the first light of morning, the next day and the next. . . .and into the night.

wisdom - better than silver

Men in spandex- so say their wives. . .  notice my husband there, riding out on Arkansas roads with his boys.
And after the ride he's a happy man, albeit chagrined that he can't sprint with the pack.
We remind him. . .

The glory of young men is their strength and the honor of old men is their grey hair. (Prov 22:29)

So, I've been thinking about the honor of grey hair (because I'm grey too!)
Grey hair indicates longevity, experience, achievement; hopefully grey hair signals humility and wisdom, but sometimes I wonder. . .

Recently I succumbed to an internet scam; Yikes! what happened to my better judgement?
I know all about sin's dark side, but when the deception came into my own house, into my own computer, when darkness masqueraded as light, I foolishly stepped into the trap.  Ahh, it all appeared and sounded so right, so good. "All your personal information is at risk!" they warned. And then fear hijacked my mind.
With hindsight, I detect hints that should have warned me to yell, Deceivers!
But I didn't. . . .

 So, John came home and I cried, angry, mortified. He held me and mopped up my mess, patient man.

Heart, what did you learn? 

 As my wonderful brood of grandchildren increases,  I keep writing their names in my Bible's margin beside Proverbs 8- but the wisdom pursuit is for me too, even as one by one my hair turns grey-

"Does not wisdom call and understanding lift up her voice?. . .

 Take my instruction and not silver and knowledge rather than choicest gold.

 For wisdom is better than jewels and all desirable things can not compare with her."