his consolations

A few weeks ago I took my little granddaughters on an outing to the yarn shop;
Selma surveyed the mercerized cotton, the palette of bright colors; silently I hoped she would
choose the lovely green . . . after all, green is a good color for red heads.
But Selma chose pink, she adored the pink, and so I bought it.
I knit it up quickly, on the train, in the car, beside the river, and the night before she flew home to Mexico City, Selma wore her pink shrug to bed. I think she likes it.

Today I'm thinking how a knit stitch is always a knit and a purl stitch is dependable like that too; knits and purls in the right combination create something beautiful, almost always- it's predictable.
Life is bumpy, confusing. . .so I knit away and  remember that for the Christ follower, heaven is predictable, totally predictable.
When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, your consolations cheer my soul. (Ps 94:19)

I'm working on a list I call God's consolations:

His mercies are new every morning; great is his faithfulness. . .He is on his throne and his kingdom rules over all. . . His understanding is beyond measure. . .Jesus is and was and is to come. . .nothing, absolutely nothing can separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. . .

When my soul needs cheering, I review God's consolations; the list is growing.

His benefits

I left home early Tuesday morning-off to Bible study but feeling ill prepared and heavy. . ..
I'm memorizing Psalm 103, "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget none of his benefits."

And the morning was sweet. . .I lead the study and the women shared themselves-they contributed personal insights.  I received the benefits-

". . .do what is right without being frightened by any fear." (1 Pet 3:6)
one dear woman applied that truth to her own life, so personally.
And that was for me. . ."Soul, forget none of His benefits."

satisfied with his likeness

A young woman talks to me about a relationship- she tells me about longing and honest emotion. . . questions and confusion.
And last week after a struggling night, she awoke remembering-

As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be satisfied with  Your likeness. (Ps 17:15)


So, today I remember the psalmist's words- and make them my own; it's hard- sometimes I want comfort instead of his likeness.
I tell my young friend to trust God- He's creating beauty in her, just as He promised.
And so I remind myself. . .
As for me, I shall behold Your face. . .I shall be satisfied with Your likeness.

living the truth

Felicites' kitchen isn't much different than I remember. . .still she cooks over an open fire, still she rolls out the masa, still she skillfully pats out tortillas; but now there's a  separate room connected to the kitchen for sitting and eating and talking-and without smoke!

I love how the Psalms so personally tell the human story. The other day  I read Psalm 55 and I thought about Felicites.
"Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken."
For 10 years our lives intersected; I knew that my friend's life was wrought with trials but I didn't comprehend then the extent or complexity of her hardships. . .(but can we ever?)
 Our individual burden in this life is what God has given us-Cast your burden upon the Lord, He will sustain you.
So, I sat on the bench beside Felicites in the Cuautempan church a few weeks ago, her large print Bible opened, covering both our small laps. Felicites knows the God who speaks Psalms 55: 22 into her life and she lives likes it's true.

what I do. . .

The other day I had my biannual check up with  the dermatologist; following my treatment the doctor sat occupied with  my chart; then he asked, "What do you do?"
Me? is he talking to me or the nurse? I thought.
"Mrs. Newton, what do you do? he asked again.
"I'm a homemaker."  (I wanted to explain everything I do outside my home!)
Reflecting on the question. . .he's a dermatologist- most likely he intended to ask if I spend my days in the blazing sun, and if so he planned to urge me to an indoor occupation--nevertheless, his question makes me think about what I do.
Today  I read Ephesians 2:10:

"You are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that he prepared before hand that you might walk in them."

So, no matter what I call it, God defines what I do as the good works he prepared before hand, specifically for me and for this season-this season that doesn't always appear as clearly defined as the last. . when I washed my children's clothes, cooked their oatmeal, taught them to read.
That season is finished. . .God prepared good works for me, walk in them!

I stepped off the train in Fort Worth and spotted this little lady trotting down the platform -train travel is one of the pleasures of this season of my life.
There's something old world about the train. . .spacious seats, rumbling monotony, the observation car, scenery flying past, the other passengers traveling slowly- like me, and the conductor, McGregor. . .McGregor, Texas! he calls. Some day I might eat in the dining car just to experience a meal served on little tables covered with white cloths, and the train speeds on. . .
Noah and Jamey invited me to spend the week. We laughed and talked a lot and every night I bathed the girls.
People: I met neighbors, heard about their lives. I met young moms at the park, over lunch, at library story hour; I got a little jolt, remembering what it's like to parent 2 under 2 years.
Pastries: Jamey and I laugh that if she ever opens a bakery, I'll work for her! So we baked, gave away, stored. . .banana bread, muffins with lemon glaze, blueberry scones.
One thin slice of a morning the girls slept- and over coffee and pastry we discussed life, how self talk affects our responses, our life perspective, our emotions.
"If I'm not talking truth to my heart, I have to change the talk- and move on." she said.

hmmm, a good week, all the way around. . .

just a small black book and a new year

I chose a jar of blueberry jam from the family gift exchange basket-and one morning after Christmas I made scones and opened the jam.
"Mom! jam with scones?" Rachel questioned. Well, usually it's toast and jam, but that morning I couldn't resist that lovely jam. . .
Every year I buy a new calendar the week after Christmas-a simple habit.
Last week Gabrielle, Rachel and Jamey were discussing calendars and planners, making choices, customizing their own--and I listened, impressed by their commitment to manage time and responsibilities.
So, the holiday dust has settled and I'm looking at my desk that resembles a volcano. . .and my small black calendar book; it's basic black with little squares for each day in 2012 and a lined page opposite. This one should suit me fine.
hmm, what do I want and anticipate from 2012. . .? Well, mostly I want to filter the entire year through an eternal lense, like I want to write created for forever in each little square in my black book, and then live it. . .

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. (C.S. Lewis)

For as a woman thinks. . .

The wise woman builds her house but the foolish woman tears it down with her own hands (Pro 14:1)
What a graphic word picture! And it's about women, imagine that?
Let's consider the destructive affects of disrespect: the wife who disrepects her husband tears down her house one board at a time with her own hands-the more she disrespects, the more she sees to disrespect.
So, what does disrespect look like? Sometimes disrespect bellows, but most often it sneaks. . . disrespect belittles, cut downs, talks down to, criticizes, nags, ignores; disrespect is sarcastic, impatient, rude. . .
Recently my 4 year old grandaughter sent me an email, dictated to her mom, "Gran, I hope you are not being rude to your Papi!" Ahh, I love it-I can hear her mother say to her, "Selma, love is not rude!" Selma's question makes me think of the connection between rudeness and disrespect.
Disrespect begins in the mind. . ."For as a man thinks within himself, so he is" (Pro 23:7)
Do you notice the arrows of disrespect that zing through your mind? (this is not my job. . .he makes more work for me.)
So, here's a challenge: Listen to how you talk to yourself about your husband. Catch and put off the subconscious thoughts that lead to disrespect.
And don't daydream! Daydreaming leads our minds down the path of disrespect; we're tempted to replay old offenses; we're tempted to compare. . .
Disrespect begins in the mind. God has given us criteria as to how we should think about our husbands; my pastor calls Philippians 4:8 the leash law for the mind. . .Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

I like to envision the leash, reigning in my wayward thoughts.
enough for now. . .but there's more

the problem

. . .and let the wife see to it that she respects her husband.
When I struggle to respect my husband, the root of the problem is my own sin, really-
Scripture doesn't give me permission to make the sins of my husband my first priority-but I'm tempted. . ."God, give me the desire and strength to obey you; make me attentive to my own sin."
Now then, attentiveness to my own sin will create humility in me, and that's a good thing. At the heart of my struggle to respect my husband is my pride-I think more highly of myself than I ought; God tells me to think of myself with sound judgement. (Rom 12:3)
In his book, When Sinners Say I Do, Dave Harvey writes, "Cultivate a healthy suspicion of your own heart motives."
hmm, sinful heart motives-like pride, selfishness, lack of love, desire to control, discontent, speck focused. . .speck focused? "And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" (Matt 7:3-5)

"An excellent wife is a crown to her husband, she who shames him is rottenness to his bones" (Prov 12:4)
Think for a moment about a rotten thing, you know-how a rotting thing looks, feels, smells. Disrespect rots! when I disrespect my husband, I dishonor God (who purchased me with his blood) and I shame my husband.
So-all this is sobering, my own sin problem, the rottenness of disrespect. . . and while sin erodes and destroys relationships on a horizontal level, sin impacts our relationship with God.
Sin is wrong not because of what it does to me or to my spouse or child or neighbor, but because it is an act of rebellion against the infinately majestic God. (Jerry Bridges)

enough for now. . .but there's more.

when it's hard. . .

And let the wife see to it that she respects her husband.
"Do you think this is such a struggle for all wives?" a woman asked me recently.
Well, yes-a struggle for all wives, because to obey God is to go against our nature.
But, no-not such a struggle, for some the struggle is less arduous, for others more, and frankly, some husbands are more difficult to respect (and some wives more difficult to love!)

Perhaps you are that wife in a particularly difficult situation; perhaps it seems asthough your husband is actively working against your efforts to obey God's command.
It's hard. . . looking through a biblical lense then, I know this is true:
1) God's command in Ephesians 5: 33 is true for all wives, without exception. And God is on the throne, his sovereignty rules over all. God doesn't get off the throne, stop ruling, when life is hard-so I remind myself. A firm reliance on God's sovereignty will help you and me to obey God.
2) Focus on God's glory. While pleasing God must always be my motive, a wife's conduct can impact her husband.
"Wives be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct." (1 Pet 3:1-2)
What an amazing passage-God says here that a wife's respectful conduct has influence. It doesn't mean that she never says a word; we're told in other parts of Scripture to speak the truth in love, to be ready to give an answer for the hope that is within us, and a biblical reproof may be the most loving response to a husband who is sinning. However, this wife doesn't preach at her husband-she speaks fewer words and her respectful behavior is a powerful influence in her husband's life.
3) Trust God. . . Ah, yes, trust God. Scripture tells us how the holy women of old trusted God. Sarah respected her husband, calling him Lord; she hoped in God not being frightened by any fearful thing (1 Pet 3:5-6). That example is for you and me.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. . .we can do that, even when it's hard, because of Jesus-
because we know that Jesus is the author and perfecter of faith. . . (Heb 12:2)
Aye, sorry so long-enough for now, but there's more. . .

thinking biblically about respect-a command

A few weeks ago I wrote some thoughts about thinking biblically and about focus-about where I choose to focus the lense of my mind. I was preparing for a teaching opportunity. . .Thinking Biblically- Respecting Your Husband. So, I prepared it-and last Thursday I taught it. . .
Respect: to be in awe of, to honor, to treat as someone special, to esteem, to admire, to pay proper attention to (not ignore!), to show consideration for, to treat courteously, to heed (to listen to).

Ahh, a worthy pursuit, a huge topic, and no, I don't have it all figured out- but truth challenges my heart.
So, first the command: ". . .and let the wife see to it that she respects her husband."(Ephesians 5:33). Sometimes I chafe, imagining that God's commands just dangle, unattached. . . Soul, remember His character- our God is holy, not harsh-loving, not capricious nor fickle; every command He gives is meant for my good and assuredly, He gives the means and grace to obey. When I'm tempted to doubt God's goodness in this command, I remember. . ."He Himself bore our sins in his body on the cross that we might die to sin and live to righteousness." (1 Peter 2:24)
The wise will give heed. . .consider the loving kindness of the Lord (Ps 107:43)
God's command in Ephesians 5:33 is addressed to wives-all wives, without exception.
Wives are commanded to see to it that they respect-the command is worded in such a way as to lay the responsibility squarely on the wife's shoulders. (Have you ever noticed that as wives we see to it that alot gets done-errands, bills, meals, car pool, coffee, laundry, knitting, reading. . .?)
In Ephesians 5:33 respect is a verb, something we do or show. We know that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks- so, respect begins in our hearts and is displayed in our words, attitudes, actions. . .toward our husbands.
"I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of the wife is her husband. . ." (1 Cor 11:33)
It's about God, about His design; He has set the husband as head, and He calls the wife to honor that postion. I've been thinking about it, focusing my biblical lense. . .respect is to be rendered to my husband because God has required it, not because my husband has earned it. Respecting my husband is a decision I make to obey God's Word. It's really all about God-and me.
Enough for now. . .but there's more.

one about focus. . .

brown eyes, blue eyes

I'm trying to become a better photographer. . . Florence and her sweet Mama make a lovely subject, don't you think? So, I'm practicing with aperture and shutter speed, attempting to figure out lighting and focus-I'm working at it.

And I'm studying for a teaching opportunity at the end of the month. Think biblically, I scribbled at the top of my page. Biblical thinking is a lot like focus with my camera. Sometimes the wrong image is in focus, the bush rather than the boy- sometimes everything is out of focus- Blurry! I notice how my camera focuses on what appears to be the prominent image--but really, I need to tell it where to focus!
Likewise, by thinking biblically, I'm telling the lense of my mind where to focus. . .I choose to view my circumstances through the lense of the gospel, remembering that I've been redeemed wtih the precious blood of Christ, He loved me and delivered himself up for me!
And I view my life through the lense of eternity-set your mind on the things above where Christ is. . .and through the lense of truth, God's Word-for the grass withers and the flowers fade, but the Word of God endures forever-

Hmm. . .so we'll see where this takes me--with my camera, with the teaching topic at hand-and in my life, amid it all. . .where I chose to focus the lense of my mind.

We make it our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to the Lord (2 cor 5:9)

make no provision

The women at Tuesday Bible study answered the question, How does God provide help for every woman's struggle against sin? "Put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh in regards to its desires." (Romans 13:14)

"So, how do you make provision for the flesh? And how do you make NO provision for the flesh?" I asked.
A vigorous discussion insued. It was really good, a worthy pursuit. (no wonder I never make it to the end of a lesson. . .)
And throughout the week the question and application resurfaced-over lunch on Tuesday, during a skype conversaton on Wednesday, over coffee at my house on Thursday, at a fast food restaurant on Friday, in an email correspondence, again and again- How do you make no provison . . . it wasn't the other women who needed application and encouragement-it was me, really.
It all begins in my mind, maybe like this. . . my married children all have wonderful new families (but I have to learn to share). I'm tempted to think, "Ah-again, my daughter is spending time with that other family. . .they've forgotten us." I wallow in my mind. I'm filled with envy in a heartbeat-I crash over the cliff.
(and of course, I can choose to make no provision- by believing the best, by being thankful that they have new families who love them. . .)
Ah, yes, every woman struggles against sin . . . But Jesus, "He can sympathize with all our weaknesses; he has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, to receive mercy and grace to help in time of need." (Heb 4:14-16)
Lord, this is one of my times of need . . .

Saturday morning Gabrielle and the children invited me out for bagels and then to the Botanical Gardens-lovely. I arrived home in the afternoon- John and the neighbors were working in the garage with crow bars, shovels and lifts. (our garage leans)
"You had a phone call-she'll call back," my husband said.
She called at 9 P.M. "Sorry. . . I only call you when my life is a mess."
"I'm glad you called," I said- and I listened.

No temptation has overtaken you but such is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Cor 10:13)
That's what I wanted to remind her, for sure. . .that the way of escape is endurance and that God is faithful to give enough grace.
I told her. . . and she listened.
So, she's coming to my house tomorrow. I want to embrace her-and tell her that a woman who trusts in the Lord is like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream, that will not fear when the heat comes. . .nor cease to yield fruit-nor cease to yield fruit. (Jer 17: 7-9)

And I want to tell myself-

a space between each book. . .

Last week I visited Caroline-she showed me her clean, organized pantry.
"Lovely! Leave the door open for a few days." I said.
I told her about my bookshelf cleaning project-dusting, sorting, giving away, rearranging.
a clean bookshelf is nice. . .you know, a shelf with little spaces between each book. And I love that empty middle shelf. . .
I discovered some treasures and a bunch for the give-away box; Wild Alaska belongs to Josiah, sent from his dear grandmother who filled the title page with a personal letter; she also promised to send him an ample collection of books about Alaska. (I only found one)

So-John started a new school year and I started cleaning the bookshelf-I thought about Psalm 16, "I have set the Lord continually before me, because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

I have set the Lord. . .not a person, or vision, or ministry or any good thing. Then day by day my children and grandchildren started back to school, teaching and attending-universtities, high school, elementary, home school. . .in Mexico City my 3 sweet grandchildren began a new school year.

I recalled past school days. . .with a hint of longing. So, I kept cleaning the bookshelf and I prayed for them, for me. . .

I have set the Lord continually before me, because He is at my right hand I will not be shaken. (Ps 16:8)

Consider Him. . .

Friday night after Bible study I sat with a friend on the edge of the pool- our legs dangled in the tepid water.
surrounded by noise, splashing, laughter, conversations -she shared, "I want peace, this relationship is still broken, what more can I do?"
A tangled mess. . .that's what she described. we had discussed it before, her part in pursuing peace.
As much as possible with you be at peace with all men.

I hear my friend's confusion and feel her sadness; I want to smooth out the trouble for her, take away the hostility, somehow bring about reconciliation. . .
today I've been thinking about our world broken by sin- and about the gospel. . .
"Consider Him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted." (Hebrews 12:3)
So, today I'll call and encourage my friend . . .remember the cross! the gospel applies here, now, Consider Him. . .

dry but thirsty

Amaleah called on Monday, "Gran! it's 102 degrees-are you and Papi okay?"
so sweet. . .actually, at 5 P.M. the temperature outside was 105 degrees and I was driving home from cool Starbucks. I stepped inside my house, slipped off my sandals-the hardwoods felt hot.
And such is south Texas at the end of summer, hot and dry.

Last week I ate lunch with a young friend, "I wanted to ask you about this. . .I feel spiritually dry." she said.
Dry?? I look around me and dry means cracks-like the ground cracks, walls crack, skin cracks. . .but I understand my friend, and I know what it's like to feel dry on the inside.
Sometimes I feel parched. And the inside struggle flares when I don't thirst, or when I thirst for what is dead.
So, I keep putting the living God before me- My soul cleaves to the dust; revive me according to your word. . . (Psalm 119)

It helps to cultivate thankfulness. . .for small things.

Today I'm thankful for a new screen door. . . John is building, piecing, repairing, painting it. There are still cracks all around me, but I'm focusing on the lovely door.

O God, my soul thirsts for you, my flesh yearns for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. (Ps 63)

a little cheer

Fanny Crosby wrote, "All the way my Saviour leads me. . . He cheers each winding path I tread."
So, I sing it, believe it. . .
Sunday after church meeting, John handed me a brown paper bag containing a lovely golden brioche. That evening we sliced and ate it- toasted, with butter and jam. Perfect
Monday I got an email from Michelle, "I know your kitchen is hot; you probably don't bake bread in the summer-I thought you'd like some homemade. . ."
Wednesday John and I munched goodies in the kitchen, "I keep meaning to thank you for buying these dates!" he said.
"Me? It's our friend, Patricia-every time I visit her, she sends me home with dates!" I said.
I love to think on the particular ways the Saviour leads and cheers. . . and how He uses people with bread and dates and more-
And this week my boy sent me a text, "students are back, bike shop is crazy busy, no day off for 2 weeks."
hmm, how to cheer his path? I sent a fast food gift card- Yep, fast food.
2 days later he texted, "Thanks, Mom, you're the best!"

love in the Gospel. . .

Today John started back to school-prepared to hug weeping 4 year olds.
And Mercy went back to college on Saturday, after a consult with the optometrist.
"Yes, you do need vision correction-wear your glasses all day!" he said. Sigh, she probably needed glasses years ago (she's #8 . . . )

Mercy and I traveled to California for Molly's wedding, just the 2 of us. Mercy meets people, puts herself out there; one evening she got to know Eddie's family-some of them don't speak English. I love that about her.
So, on the flight home we shared people stories.
Mercy and the cousins talked about worldview and practical faith, about living selflessly or selfishly-how does it look?
(where was I during that worthy pursuit? I was distracted by mountains of fresh peaches.)
We talked and I had an opinion- the topic under youthful examination seemed clearly defined, but maybe not-
So, I've been thinking,"do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit. . ."
These days John and I are doing an unselfish deed. . .outwardly I appear totally, radically unselfish. But in my mind sometimes I hear ghastly selfish thoughts, feelings-shocking!
I can't make myself be more selfless-
Heart, remember God's love in the Gospel. . .
"We who live in him are no longer to live for ourselves, not even for our good record, our family's approval, or our clean conscience. We are to live for Him who for our sake died and was raised." (2 Cor 5:15)
Ah, so totally unselfish. . .

more about grace

This week I enjoyed an evening with my friend Debbie.
Amid the good talk, Debbie shared a story of how God had affected specific change in her life more than 20 years ago; then I shared how 40 years ago God displayed his grace in a similar situation in my own life.
Over coffee and 4 squares of dark chocolate, we remembered God's amazing grace - good for the soul.

Recently I read Glenda's Story, Led by Grace by Glenda Revell. Years ago I borrowed and read the book but finally decided to buy my own copy-to read again, to lend out. . .
Glenda tells her story. . .a childhood of abuse, neglect, suffering- horrifying proof of the reality of sin and of the perils of living in a broken world.
But in the preface, Glenda writes, "If this were just a story about my suffering, it would be ordinary, for suffering is as commonplace as life itself. Rather this is an account of an extraordinary Savior, who brings light out of darkness, joy out of sorrow, peace out of pain. . ."
Read Glenda's story- led by grace
This morning I read Psalm 121-The Lord is your keeper, the shade on your right hand, the sun will not smite you by day. . .the Lord will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul.

hmm, reminds me of Glenda's story-and my story, and yours'. . .