enduring kindness. . .

So, day by day you and I get out of bed, thank the Lord for Himself, thank Him for a new day full of opportunities. . .we ask for his grace which enables us to desire the happiness of others, remembering the truth-love is patient, love is kind-and day by day we leave a legacy of kindness.

But there may be seasons in our lives when each of us is faced with the prospect of doing a particular deed of goodness day in and day out, with no end in sight-Aye, weary. . .

Then we're encouraged, "And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9)

I watch my friend, Laura, enduring. . . showing kindness and goodness-purposing to meet her elderly father's extensive needs. Laura demonstrates to me that the goal of her kindness is to show forth the compelling power of the Gospel. . . and it must be just that for Christ followers, don't you think?

Do I desire to leave a legacy of kindness? indeed, but not so others notice,"My, oh my, she is such a kind woman. . . so many deeds of goodness!"

but rather-she devoted her life to the happiness of others because of Jesus- because He loved her and gave up His life for her. . .

easy to be entreated

Entreat: to make an earnest request or petition

A kind woman is easily entreated. James 3:17 describes wisdom from above,

"first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy."

Included in "reasonable" is easy to be entreated. I've been thinking about this great quote by Matthew Henry:

"There is an easiness that is weak and frail, however, it is not a blamable easiness to yield ourselves to all just requests of fellow creatures."

hmmm, I certainly don't want to have an easiness that is weak and frail. . .but to cultivate such a quality, to yield to all just requests- that is a worthy pursuit indeed.

So, I ask myself, "Do I yield to just requests or am I harsh and unbending, holding to a rigid standard? (just plain mean!) Do others know that you and I will listen to a respectful appeal, do our children and grandchildren know they can come to us with a just request?

So I've made up this phrase for myself, "Am I easily entreatable?" (I don't think entreatable is a real word, but it works to question my heart!)

Soul, remember. . .kindness is tender concern for others, a desire to treat others gently, just as the Lord treats us.

kind words. . .and face

A few months ago I was making frequent phone calls to schedule first time appointments with a variety of doctors. I felt nervous, timid-who would answer the phone-and would she answer with a smile or a scowl?. . . I discovered the wonderful relief as the person on the other end responded patiently, kindly.
The Bible tells us about the proverbs 31 woman, "kindness was on her tongue". . . I think that means kind words were ready, in her heart, on her mind, and then she expressed kind words.
In life's rapid routine I don't always listen to myself talk; are my words sweet- gentle- nurturing -encouraging? Does harshness or sarcasm ever creep into my voice? Sometimes I say the right words in an unkind tone.
John andI observed friends interacting with their young children; as Dad spoke to a whiney child, Mom gently clued him, "tone, tone!" They had agreed to hold one another accountable for the tone of their words.
And my face. . . does my expression read kind and I'm interested in you? I think I have a telling face which at times is not welcoming or kind, imagine that? Perhaps I'm merely distracted, but my face appears scowling, "What does she want from me this time?" says my face. . .
As long as I can remember John has asked me to make bread for his faculty Christmas luncheon-certainly not a burdensome chore, however with the recent request, my face must have read, bother! or not again or I'm really busy . . .since almost immediately my dear husband offered to buy bread at the local bakery!
Sigh. . .
enough for one post, but there's more.

to lighten the load. . .

Kindness is the sincere desire for the happiness of others.

Goodness is kindness in action (deliberate deeds that are helpful to others)-so, kindness and goodness are closely related.

Kind to whom? to all men (even our enemies) especially our closest neighbors -husbands, children, family, co-workers. . .

How do I make all this practical in my life? God predestined our salvation and then He prepared good works for us to do (Eph 2:10)-amazing, really!

I think about Tabitha in Acts 9, a woman of Joppa who was abounding with deeds of kindness and charity, which she continually did.

In the news we hear of sensational acts of kindness- but God created us to do good works within the humdrum of our daily lives, with our families, in our homes, with our church, neighbors; and that describes Tabitha-she devoted her life to doing good in the course of daily living. I don't have to do all the good works in the world, I just have to find the ones which God prepared for me-Soul, be alert to the opportunties!

lately I've been thinking, "how can I simply lighten the load of those God brings my way?"

. . .a worthy pursuit, indeed.

a tender concern

Kindness is tender concern for others, a desire to treat others gently just as the Lord treats us (J. Bridges)
Sigh-sometimes I'm kind and gentle, but alot of times I'm not. . .a relative tells me, "if women ruled the world, there would be no wars!". . .I only have to look into my own heart to confirm my potential for brutal fighting!

I've discovered that sometimes I am not tender because I evaluate a person's situation from my point of view rather than God's-selfishness and pride ensue.
I hesitate to remember the time my dear husband was suffering from kidney stones and my attitude communicated, "you'll be fine, couldn't be that bad. . .I birthed 8 babies, buck up!" I didn't actually say those words, but my relative indifference to his pain and comparing his experience to mine, did not convey gentle tenderness. (now we laugh about it. . . and he is gracious!)
So, our kindness should reflect the legacy of God's kindness to us. I've been praying through Isaiah 40, and I stopped to meditate on God's tenderness:
"Like a shepherd He will tend his flock, in His arm He will gather the lambs, and carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes.". . .that's our mighty, majestic God- gently, tenderly shepherding his flock, tenderly shepherding me!
I can display God's tender kindness with simple thoughtfulness- by being aware of others, focusing on those around me. So, where is my focus? my concern?
a smile to a store clerk, a thankyou to a waitress, an encouraging word or note-all so basic, not costly in time or money but such expressions of kindness require that I focus on others, that I am concerned for their happiness.
Do I show concern for others that says, "I just want you to know I care." Do I listen-really listen to others? . . .such gentle, tender kindness would adorn the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Sorely tempted to unkindness. . .

"What is desireable in a man is his kindness." (Prov 19:22)

Being kind is desireable. . .then why is it so hard?

I have a young friend who lives in another city-we email and talk on the phone; last month when I asked her to pray for me as I prepare to talk on kindness, she wrote back: "Kindness! It is so hard to be kind! if you have any notes as you study about kindness, please email them to me. I am so unkind to my siblings more than anyone else, and it is so sad; they are the ones who see me every day. I really always have to be aware of that and make and effort to be kind to them, because it definately doesn't come naturally!"

hmmm, I love that girl-and isn't it true that the temptation to unkindness is often greatest with those who are closest?

What is desireable in a woman is her kindness. . .but sin thwarts kindness, our own sin and the sin of the people in our lives.

The human heart is so deep, complex, as is our tangled web of sin-

Selfishness thwarts kindness: kindness is the sincere desire for the happiness of others, but naturally, I am concerned about me, concerned about my plans, my problems, my interests. So I struggle to be kind when someone or something thwarts my plans, derails my agenda, doesn't do things my way. I ignore the example of Jesus in Philippians 2:3-5

Anger thwarts kindness: expressions of anger reveal sinful desires in our hearts.

"what causes quarrels and conflicts among you? Is it not the desires that wage war in you members" (James 4:1)

So, my desires-wanting my own way- is the force behind my anger.

Am I craving peace and quiet (just 1/2 hour of uninterrupted peace!), convenience (the dryer repaired), ease, an orderly house, appreciation. . .after a holiday trip, my friend came home to piles of laundry; she decided that in a snap she could wash and dry at the laundramat; after she loaded up the dirty piles, her husband expressed his preference that she not go to the laundramat-errrrr. . .we talked about how her desire for ease provoked angry feelings towards her dear husband!

How about irritation, the subtle companion of anger? I asked a friend if she ever gets irritated? she said, "Slow! slow shoes, slow eating, slow picking up toys, slow in the bathroom, slow-slow-slow!" her desires, not slowness, caused her irritation.

Bitterness thwarts kindness: in Feminine Appeal, Carolyn Mahaney writes that bitterness is based on someone else's sin against us, usually someone's sin who is close to us-I admit, that's been true for me. Remember, those closest to us will surely wrong us.

from Ephesians 4:32 we know that kindness involves forgiving others their offenses against us-perhaps great offenses; for me, it's been helpful to remember that no one has sinned against me to the extent that I have sinned against the Savior. If we do not forgive oneanother, we will become bitter women. . .

Each obstacle to kindness is born and fed by self love; if you are a believer, kindness is an expression of God's work of grace in you-grace which expands your thinking outside of yourself.

What then to do? When I am unkind, I must confess my sin to God and humbly ask forgiveness; I am comforted that if I confess my sin, He is faithful to forgive my sin and to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. I am a great sinner, but I have a great Savior! (wrote John Newton of old)

Enough for this very long post-but there's more. . .

challenged to imitate

So, I had a teaching opportunity at a recent women's gathering-the topic was Kindness. I'm thinking on God's legacy of kindness: He is kind to all men-all, without distinction; God's kindness draws us close, kindness that draws us to repentance; and God's kindness compelled action-He sent his Son to die. . . .
"God's children should bear the indelible stamp of His moral character. Since He is loving, gracious, kind even to His enemies, we should be like Him." (McArthur)
We should be like Him. . . imitators of God as beloved children. I chose some Scriptures to remind myself of God's instruction to imitate Him in kindness:
"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God has forgiven you." (Eph 4:32) . . .tender, forgiving
"As those chosen of God, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience." (Col 3:12) A wise person wrote, "Kindness refers to a goodness towards others that pervades the person, mellowing all harsh aspects."
hmmm, I love this verse and the quote. . .kindness mellows all harsh aspects.
"Applying all diligence in your faith. . .in your godliness, kindness."(2 Pet 1:7) diligently work at being kind.
"the Lord's bond servants must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all." (2 Tim 2:24)
Ah, the quarrels that are on my lips, in my heart-Be kind!
So, we have a worthy challenge and divine instruction to pursue kindness. . .
again and again I see myself failing, struggling to be genuinely kind; I can generate a degree of external kindness, and conclude that on my own, at the heart, I am an unkind woman.
Jerry Bridges writes, "Kindness is the inner disposition created by the Holy Spirit that causes us to be sensitive to the needs of others." (causes and enables us)
Jesus promised the Holy Spirit to companion and help believers; be assured, kindness is the fruit of the Spirit's work in our lives. . . and I cry out, Lord, make me a truly kind woman!
there is hope.

enough for one post-but there is more.

legacy of kindness

I have kindness on my mind-for the past month I've been preparing to give a talk at a women's gathering. "Older women. . .encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind. . .that the word of God may not be dishonored" (Titus 2:3-5)
So, on Tuesday I gave the talk-kindness is still on my mind, Kind- just one tiny word. . .
Jerry Bridges writes in The Practice of Godliness, "Kindess is the sincere desire for the happiness of others."
hmmm, to desire the happiness of others- to leave a legacy of kindness. . .I typed the phrase into my computer search engine and discovered how all sorts of people are acclaimed for exceptional kindness, people with a myriad of models and motives. So, for me, a Christ follower, what's different? Christians, of all people, should be the most kind, right?
afterall, God himself has left us a legacy of kindness-a legacy of unfailing kindness.
"Love your enemies and do good, for God is kind to his enemies, to ungrateful and evil men (Luke 6:35). . .It's the kindness of God that draws us to repentance (Rom 2:4). . .We were utterly lost and hopeless, but when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us." (Titus 3:3)
So, if we have tasted of the kindness of the Lord, 1 Pet 2:3 (ahh, to think of tasting God's kindness!), having been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb of God, then we know and continue to experience God's unfailing kindness-imagine that!
About God's legacy of kindness, I want to remember and model:
He is kind to all men, ungrateful, wicked, hopeless, rebellious, without distinction.
His kindness drew us to himself, drew us close.
God's kindness compelled action-He saved us!

Enough for one post-but there's more. . .